- Acknowledge the other person’s feelings/emotional state.
- Be specific (state observable behaviour, the facts) in describing the unacceptable behaviour or situation.
- State how the current behaviour is impacting you, the situation, or your relationship.
- State your needs or preference with regard to the situation/behaviour.
- Show them other, more productive ways to express themselves.
- Point out positive outcomes in behaving differently.
- Point out the negative of continuing with the behaviour, if necessary.
- Emphasize your preference for resolving the situation.
- Be prepared that they may not choose to alter their behaviour and act on the negative consequences you outlined, you may have to end the conversation.